My Ex-Boyfriend is Bipolar.

Alright! Sam (my ex boyfriend.. I hardly ever use his actual name anymore) can sometimes be my best friend and then sometimes make it seem like he wants nothing to do with me. Yesterday morning he texted me and was really weird about it. Basically saying, I am texting you to text you but I can't actually talk right now or don't want to talk right now. I don't know.. So I just ignored him. Then he texts me later about glee... and I am not about to sit there and talk to him about glee. I forget he even texted me, go to work, and when I get off of work I have a voice mail from him about how he misses me and he really needs to talk to me and he told me some lame joke and I am weak so I called him back. I hate how well we get along. I hate how we talk like we are best friends. I was driving home and I told myself the second I got home that I would make up an excuse of  how I needed to get off the phone. So I stopped at all the yellow lights. I NEED TO GET OVER HIM!!! It's weird though.. When I talk to him I don't feel sad about what we lost anymore, I am just happy for what we have. 
Today there was a morning side for the youth in my ward (kinda like a fireside but in the morning) and I showed up a half an hour late because I wanted to get out of the before lesson socializing.. but I didn't get the memo that they were skipping that today so I just looked like an idiot showing up a half an hour late. Oh and I was supposed to bring muffins... I definitely did not bring muffins. awkward. haha
I get home from this at around 10:30 am and don't have to leave for church until 12:30 so I went to drop off some movies that I rented last night and to go visit my sister. I decided to bring my little toy poodle with me... bad idea. unfortunately she got car sick all over my dress. lovely. And then I get a call from a deli that I interviewed with a month ago and I didn't ever hear back from them and I am so focused on the fact that I smell gross that I agree to a final interview for 5:00 pm. I soon after kicked myself for forgetting it was Sunday and went back to being grossed out.
**SIDE NOTE: I currently am a sales associate at Claire's but I never and I mean NEVER get real hours there. I work 0 to 3 to 5 hours a week or a month. and I hate it!! but they put me on call (their beckoning call) all the time. uggh. So I wanted a new job that gave me more hours and was able to work with my schedule. Cue job hunting. I interviewed at this deli and it went super duper well but I didn't here back and just forgot about it. turns out they just weren't hiring a month ago, but now they are and they want me. Sweet :) It pays a little less but I am getting 25- 30 hours a week. good deal :)
Two outfits later
I got a second job. Filled out paper work. I start Tuesday :) Oh and they are working with my schedule so I work after schools and Saturdays.. no Sundays :)
So lets rewind a little bit to right before church.... I caved. I called Sam. Dang it! I just really needed his opinion on getting a second job and his advice. and I am not kidding when I say we get along sooooo well and we agree with almost everything on our political mindsets and we have real deep conversations even if its fifteen minutes before church.... but then he starts talking about whats wrong with the LDS church.. and again my head is filled with doubts and I have to pray, read my scriptures, and fight hard to feel the peace of the spirit again. I hope one day he can have a change of heart. But as much as I want to.. I can't change him. I can't force him to go back to Argentina and serve the remaining 21 months of his mission. even though I really really want to. I just can't.
I miss who he was while he was on his mission and before his mission. We had such a beautiful friendship and relationship and I want that back. Maybe it won't ever be with him again and that's okay. But it still hurts.
Well, that is all for now :)