Men Are Stupid.

"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

Well today was a pretty normal day... until I was talking with some friends before second period and new guy (Heck I am just going to say his name!) CJ saw me and totally did an "oh crap! avoid! avoid! avoid!" U-turn. Oh my Goodness!!!! Ugghh! What in the world did I do so wrong that he now feels the need to freaking avoid me?!?!? and then after class I passed him on the way to lunch and he definitively avoided eye contact. I am sorry but I was furious! I did absolutely nothing to deserve being treated like this. So I did what I do best. I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings. I knew that it would make me feel better if I wrote it all out in a mature way about how he was making me feel. I said something kinda like this:


"CJ,
I am sorry that life is hard right now and I am sorry if I did anything to add to feelings of being overwhelmed. I just want you to do what is best for you. I realize that because of the circumstances that you need time and space and you wont be able to honor your initial offer in taking me to prom. However, I still stand by the fact that I am so thankful that we had a "thing" the way we did when he did. Otherwise I would still be going to prom with Sam and he was a poison to my life. I understand and I promise that I wont be mad if you don't ask me to prom or even if you ask someone else entirely. But don't be a stranger! I still really care about you as a friend. I am sorry if this letter is overly long or overly emotional I just wanted to make sure that we are on the same page and that when we see each other no feelings of awkwardness or pain need to arise. CJ your Heavenly Father loves you, go to Him in your times of trial and through Him you will receive strength. Always remember that Jesus Christ not only died for your sins but also knows your pains, your regrets, your hard times. You are a valued Son of God and He loves you. You will always have a friend in me! :)
Wishing you the best!
Valerie"


So I intercepted him at the beginning of his lunch and skipped my class. He read the note in front of me. My heart was beating so fast. After he read the note he said "We need to talk." He told me that he was taking the break up harder than he expected, how his parents were having a hard time with money and he's not sure he is going to be able to afford prom. He told me that he really wanted to take me to prom. He said he was going to talk to his parents tonight about it. I sympathized with him. I can relate to money problems and bad break ups. However I also told him that he can't just pretend like I am invisible and just drop off of the face of the planet. I told him that he only had one more chance. I told him that I would happy to go on a different date and have our own prom. He told me he was going to call or text me tonight.... it is 8:46 and he still hasn't called....................................


I am giving him until 10 and then I am done.


Prom is only two and half weeks away and I really don't want to drag this out. And what if he goes to prom with me and then just has his eyes on his ex-girlfriend the ENTIRE time? I mean she is trying to get his best friend to go with her... if that was my situation it would hurt and I would constantly be watching my ex. If he ends up saying that he can go I am going to ask if seeing his ex there with another date is going to hurt him.. if so I can't do it. If he can't go maybe I'll try to find another date.
Honestly, this hurts.
Why can he be so sweet and soul bearing one moment
and then the next moment
he is cold and distant.
His second chance has almost expired but then I have to let go of the prospect of him being my date because I don't deserve this.