Sometimes It Turns Out Better :)
I know I have been missing for a while! I have been super busy with work, school, and life.
I have been having a really hard time lately keeping up with everything. Work was consuming my life. I was exhausted ALL THE TIME. I was always crying, over emotional, worn out, simply because of the fact that I was seriously sleep deprived (and still am) So after a lot of prayer, consideration, thought, talking with people I decided that today was going to be the day.... I quit my job.
and I am SO GLAD that I did!
I now have 42 days until I graduate high school. Only 42 more days of being a senior in high school and I know that I don't want to let that slip away from me. I guess it just wasn't the right job, the right timing, the right hours. Don't get me wrong though, this was an extremely hard decision. I had times of feeling like a failure because I can't do it anymore. Sometimes I feel like I am not good enough when it comes to work and especially school.... oh and boys. But after a lot of prayer and talking to my mom about things, I feel great about myself! I don't have to feel like I am giving up because I'm not. I just want to make room in my life to enjoy life :) Okay I am done justifying myself even though I probably don't need to haha
May I just say that Boys are Jerks. New guy changed his mind about taking me to prom..... yeah...... he is just having a really hard time right now and a lot is going on his life and really, I am not mad at him. Just the whole situation is just really heartbreaking. I feel so stupid because I was so convinced that he came into my life to get me away from Sam and to be my prom date. We made that decision on the same day and I guess I was the only one to follow through... the worst part is he wasn't even going to tell me... he was just going to leave me to wonder what happened and why he wasn't asking me to prom. I understand that he is hurting because of his recent break up... but really? He couldn't have told me? Flaky Coward.
Okay I'm sorry that was mean..... I'll get over it. I don't need a date to my senior prom.... I will live. Still though I am so incredibly grateful that he did come into my life when he did the way he did... because then I would have never had Sam change his plane ticket. I would still be talking to the guy who I really cared about but he only saw me as a pity date and I am so much more valuable than that! I wish I could press fast forward. ugghh!!!
Oh I forgot to mention, when I resigned from work today my manager was super nice about it! He told me that if I needed a letter of recommendation or a job go to him because he loves me :) I love him :) That went so much better than I could have ever hoped for :)
So yeah :) Right now I kinda feel invincible. I feel like partying. I feel like jumping up and down. I feel like going out and spending time with my friends. I love my friends :)
Yesterday I was an absolute mess. I couldn't stop crying due to the fact that I was exhausted, I didn't really enjoy my Spring break, new guy had been avoiding me for a week, it was freezing outside, I was sick (I called in sick to work), mostly though I think it was because I just started my period. I hate admitting this but I am an emotional wreck on the first couple days of my period. I was on the phone with my best friend just crying and then my door bell rings and it was her at my door with flowers and a hug <3 She is awesome!
Well I guess that is all for today :) only 17ish days until prom so I will keep you all updated on my prom date... or lack there of :)
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